Katrin Stötter
Mother, certified sleep coach and founder of the sleep consultancy “Bear-strong Baby Sleep”.
The sleep of our little ones – a delicate matter
Sleep for babies and toddlers is a frequently discussed topic that unsettles many parents. Numerous myths and misinformation circulate online, which only increase the uncertainty.
I, too, would have wished for this knowledge at the beginning of my motherhood journey – before my training as a sleep coach. Sleep and rest are crucial for the cognitive and physical development of little ones – from the first months of infancy through to school age. But how much sleep do newborns, babies, and toddlers really need? And how can parents best support their child's sleep needs?
Table of Contents
- Sleep cycle & sleep stages in babies and toddlers
- Creating the right sleep environment
- Rituals and routines for better sleep
- FAQ: Common questions about children's sleep needs
- Conclusion
Why is sleep so important for babies and toddlers?
Especially in the first year of life, babies go through numerous developmental leaps and sleep regressions that significantly change and affect their sleep. These leaps and changes often turn nights into days for some or even several weeks. Nighttime waking phases are not uncommon during such leaps and sleep changes. During these phases, everything the child experiences and learns is processed during sleep. Sleep promotes the formation of new synaptic connections, which are crucial for growth and brain development. Healthy sleep is therefore essential for your child's physical and mental development.
Sleep cycle and sleep stages in babies and toddlers
Babies and toddlers have a different sleep cycle than adults. They go directly into REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement), during which experiences are processed and new skills are consolidated. Many parents think their child is sleeping restlessly because the eyes move during this phase and the child turns around a lot. But the child is not sleeping restlessly; rather, they are actively sleeping.
A sleep cycle in babies lasts about 30–45 minutes, with only about 10 minutes of deep sleep, known as Non-REM sleep. The rest of the cycle is spent in REM sleep, which shows how active your child's brain is during sleep.
Illustration: Sleep cycle: Newborns & toddlers
In the first year of life, babies spend about 50% of their sleep in the active REM phase. This is important because frequent waking and falling back asleep promotes the processing of experiences. The REM portion decreases significantly in the first two years of life. Adults, for example, spend only about 20% of their total sleep in the REM phase.
Creating the right sleeping environment
Are you wondering how to best put your baby to sleep? A low-stimulation sleep environment is crucial to help your baby or toddler get good sleep. From the 4th month, your child's day-night rhythm develops. It is advisable to darken the room in time and have as many naps as possible at home in a quiet environment. From this time on, your child can also produce the sleep hormone melatonin, which promotes good and restful sleep. The production of this hormone starts as soon as it is dark. Of course, small string lights or night lights for nursing are perfectly fine.
More expert tips on the topic of baby sleep can be found in the article “Safe Baby Sleep – What Is Important?” and “Baby Sleeping Bag: What Should You Wear Underneath?”.
Rituals and routines for better sleep
Rituals are especially important for babies and toddlers because they provide predictability and security. A consistent bedtime ritual, such as putting on pajamas or playing a Musical Soft Toy, can help your child prepare for sleep. Such bedtime rituals should be established from the 4th month and can be kept short and simple until the 18th month of life.
Small tip
A bedtime story is a lovely ritual for falling asleep that gently accompanies your little one into the world of dreams. In our Sterntaler download section, you will find wonderful stories to read aloud and listen to.
The "filled bonding tank": Why emotional closeness is important
A "filled attachment tank" is essential for good sleep. This refers to the emotional, social, and physical reservoir of care and security that your child builds through their relationship with you. A well-filled attachment tank means that your child feels safe, loved, and secure, which is so important for emotional and social development. If the attachment tank is empty, the child may become insecure and anxious.
When babies cry, they signal a need that must be recognized and met. Whether it is hunger or simply the desire for closeness. When we hold our child in our arms while they cry, a bond and a close relationship are formed, which is essential for the development and strengthening of (basic) trust and security.
Alongside all these things, a good daily routine is also a top priority for good baby and toddler sleep. Structures, rituals, sleep environment, and sleep hygiene factors must be in place.
3 Tips for an Ideal Sleep Routine
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Observe the waking hours
Pay attention to your child's waking times between naps and regularly offer opportunities for sleep.
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Establish fixed daily routines
A structured daily routine – with fixed meal times and regular activities – promotes your child's sleep: for example, breastfeeding/bottle – hygiene – breakfast – fresh air – breastfeeding/bottle – dimming the lights – sleep ritual – nap, etc.
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Establish rituals
Establish recurring elements that signal bedtime – both during the day and in the evening.
FAQ: Common Questions About the Sleep Needs of Babies and Toddlers
Many parents I have worked with as an attachment-focused sleep coach are unsure and often ask the same questions. Sleep needs and awake times vary depending on the age and child. Some children need more sleep, others less. It is important to recognize your child's signs of tiredness and respond accordingly. Because your child's sufficient sleep is so important! Both for development and to prevent overtiredness. And for parents, too, rest and sleep have become very valuable since the birth.
How much should babies sleep?
The sleep needs and sleep duration of babies and toddlers vary depending on their age and developmental stage. Each child is also unique, and just like adults, there are long sleepers and short sleepers. Did you know that most factors influencing the "internal clock" and sleep habits are genetically determined?
To give you a little guidance on sleep duration and needs, the following table provides an overview of the sleep requirements in hours for newborns up to children one year old.
Sleep needs - Age-appropriate guidelines
Your child's need for sleep is one thing, but the following questions are also important in this context: How long can your child stay awake from one sleep to the next without becoming overtired or being put down too early? How many naps does your little one need at what age, and when do changes in daytime naps occur? When should the last daytime nap end at the latest so that nighttime sleep is not only possible again at 9 p.m.?
How long should a child stay awake during the day?
Wake times and sleep rhythms vary from child to child. Some children can stay awake longer. Others get tired quickly and need a nap after just a few hours. It’s also important to remember that a nap can start earlier if the previous nap, whether during the day or night, was shorter—this can happen, for example, if nighttime sleep was interrupted by longer periods of wakefulness.
Similarly, a nap can start an hour later if the previous sleep was longer and more restful. The table below provides an overview of wake times in hours for newborns up to one-year-old children.
Waiting times - Age-appropriate guideline values
How long do babies and toddlers take to fall asleep?
The time it takes to fall asleep—like many things—depends on age, and there are only general guidelines that parents can use as a reference.
In general:
- Up to an age of 14 months, a falling asleep time between 15 and 25 minutes is completely normal.
- From an age of 15 months, the time to fall asleep is usually longer, ranging between 25 and 30 minutes.
What are signs of tiredness in children?
Your child's need for sleep is naturally an important aspect, but how long can your child stay awake between naps? This time is also greatly influenced by the activities. When a child is playfully or mentally engaged, they become tired again more quickly.
Of course, signs of tiredness in your child always take precedence! These may be:
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Rubbing eyes
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Lay down head
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increased cuddling
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increased tearfulness
But if your little miracle does not show any signs, the reference values in the tables are a great guide for you.
Conclusion: Sufficient sleep for healthy growth
Sufficient sleep and a regular sleep schedule are essential for your child's development. It not only supports growth and mental development but also helps prevent overtiredness. By ensuring a calm sleeping environment, consistent routines, and a clear daily structure, you can positively influence your infant's or toddler's sleep.
If you are unsure or have questions, I am happy to support you with attachment-focused sleep coaching. I look forward to hearing from you!
Mehr Informationen über Katrin Stötter findest du hier.